This somber song by Kaila Shabat touches on the challenge of moving from the intense grief of Yom Hazikaron to the joyous celebration of Yom Ha’azmaut. Kaila Shabat, a poet and author, arrived in Israel from London in 1967 as a volunteer after the Six-Day War. Her greatest joy is to sing and record inspirational songs. The audio recording and the Hebrew and English lyrics were shared on Ritualwell, a project of the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College that provides a platform for creating new Jewish practices and observances.
The Pendulum
Like the people of Israel
on Remembrance Day
I’m in deep mourning
for the ‘me’ I have lost
but sorrow won’t turn to joy
with the coming of eve.
I don’t know when
the stars will emerge
when the pain will cease.
For me there’ll be no ceremony
to mark the start of celebrations.
What will herald
Independence Day, for me?
Shifting chemicals
or a friend’s concern,
loving arms around me
or a song to touch the soul?
הַמְּטוּטֶלֶת
כְּמוֹ כָּל עַם יִשְׂרָאֵל
בְּיוֹם הַזִּכָּרוֹן
כָּךְ גַּם אֲנִי נְתוּנָה בְּאֵבֶל כָּבֵד
עַל הָ »אֲנִי » אֲשֶׁר אָבַד לִי.
אֲבָל הַצַּעַר לֹא יֵהָפֵך לְשִׂמְחָה
בְּבוֹא הָעֶרֶב.
אֵינִי יוֹדַעַת מָתַי
הַכּוֹכָבִים יָצְאוּ,
מָתַי הַכְּאֵב יַחֲלֹף.
עֲבוּרִי אֵין טֶקֶס
לְסִמּוּן תְחִילַתָן
שֶׁל הַחֲגִיגוֹת.
מָה יְבַשֵּׂר
יוֹם הָעַצְמָאוּת עֲבוּרִי?
שִׁנּוּי בְּכִיווּן הָרוּחַ
אוֹ דְּאָגָה שֶׁל חָבֵר,
זְרוֹעוֹתָיו שֶׁל אֲהוּבִי,
אוֹ שִׁיר שֶׁיִּגַּע בְּנִשְׁמָתִי?